Paulkyville

Yesterday I received an email from the AHC confirming that my application for permanent residency had been successful! To say I was pleased was quite an understatement! I have to go at least once before 7th July next year, otherwise I have to begin the whole process again, so am planning a quick trip (or as quick as a whole day's travelling there and back will allow) sometime next year, probably March. I think I have now done the easy part; everything that comes next is far more complex and complicated and requires untold bureaucracy and inevitable faffing, as it will involve the British government, as well as having to sell the house for a decent profit and quit my job and say goodbye to friends and family. But for now, there are no more hoops to jump through and I can relax a bit, before the scramble begins. Oh, and Yippee!

Whilst I await word from the AHC, I thought I'd share with you my plans for when I (hopefully) get my permanent residency status, a plan I refer to as my Exit Strategy. Once all the hard work of selling houses, closing bank accounts, moving pensions and so forth is done and Mrs Paulky and I have our bags packed, the plan is that we will travel to Australia via the US. There are several reasons for this: It breaks up the mind numbing journey. It enables us to catch up with friends and relatives. We'll get to see a lot of the country. We'll be so broke afterwards we'll never attempt a journey like it again. If all goes well, our first port of call will be on the Sidewalker family , who live in New Jersey. We'd use their place as a base and visit New York, possibly going up to Niagara Falls too. Then it's down to Florida to visit a cousin in Miami. Having been to Florida before, I'm not too fussed about going to the theme parks, so it will likely be a few days ...

Aside from being one of my favourite Crowded House songs, this post title is alerting you to a new gadget I've added, which shows the weather in Perth, WA. Bear in mind it's currently the middle of winter in the Southern hemisphere, so don't gloat too much over rain and cool temperatures! It sometimes struggles to get above 18 degrees Centigrade in the summer in the UK! EDIT : It would appear my shiny new gadget is stuck in New York! Despite my changing it! Anyway, I'll leave it up for now in case it's a glitch, but in the meantime by all means click on the edit option and type in Perth, then select Perth Australia if you want to see how the weather is doing there.

One of the items I was required to read when I made my application was a book about "Life in Australia", and one of the items that caught my attention was the use of slang. Now most cultures have their own unique words, Quid for a pound, for example, but I don't think we in the UK can hold a torch to the prevalence of use of slang in Australia. Even their politicians use colloquialisms . Can you imagine Gordon Brown telling the populace that he's going to have to tax them a few quid more to get us out of the doldrums? No, neither can I. So the Australians have stubbies (small bottles of beer), sand shoes (trainers to you and I) and thongs. Now, to most of us, a thong is a piece of floss that you wear as underwear, but to an Australian it is a pair of flip flops. I'm assuming everyone knows what flip flops are. They also like to shorten words and stick an "O" on the end, such as derro (a derelict or tramp). So when in doubt, shove an O on. Though not ...

We are pursuing a bit of the old Blitz spirit here at Paulkyville . As we will (hopefully) be moving to Oz next year, we decided to try and put up with what we have rather than replace things, such as TVs , white goods etc. Apart from the different voltage in Australia compared to the UK, things such as TVs tend to be cheaper as they are closer to the source (i.e, the Far East) of manufacture. Of course, having decided this, fate bowls a googly. First our kettle dies, so we buy a cheap replacement. This tends to make a suspicious buzzing noise when it's not in action, so we now make a point of switching it off at the mains when not needed, less the house burn down. Then our colour printer ran out of ink. Well, no problem there, buy an ink cartridge ! So off I trot to WH Smith and buy a black and colour cartridge, which cost £61! It was only when I get home that I realise you can actually buy a completely new printer for that. So I take the cartridge back and we buy a new pri...

So I've had time to digest what's required of me, and I have to make a (very expensive, I suspect) appointment with a doctor recommended by the Australian High Commission. This involves blood tests, X-Rays and other medical probings. Oh how I look forward to that. (That's sarcasm, by the way.) I also have to have Police checks carried out to make sure I am not some hardened criminal (which, as someone pointed out, used to be the only way to get in to Australia!). This costs me £35. And finally I have to provide further evidence that Mrs Paulky and I are a bona fide couple; this one enables me to skip the Temporary Residence visa and skip straight to Permanent, so it's worth doing. Just now have to gather together suitable evidence, which makes my decision to have a clear out last month of all old documents suddenly seem unwise... One good thing that all this clarifies is that, assuming I get the visa, I have to make a trip to Australia before the medical and p...

There are all manner of reasons for leaving the UK and going to live in Australia. I've already mentioned the weather, the living conditions, the people. But, for me at least, there's another, far more trivial reason. And that is the Cherry Ripe. Manufacture by Cadbury's in Australia but bizarrely not available in the UK, it is a dark chocolate coated, coconut enshrined piece of cherry goodness. Quite by far the best chocolate bar I've ever had, and I consider myself a connoisseur. If you've never had one, believe me it's worth trading continents for. Yes, it's high in everything that's bad for you and I expect I'll put on a couple of stone once subjected to one every day, but I'll exercise. Or something. They say the devil is in the details and this is one of my details. Of course I'm looking forward to everything else Australia can offer me, but this is the icing on the cake.

Finally , after more than three months of planning and eight months since I stood on that beach, my application for permanent residency in Australia has been sent. Someone asked me recently if I was excited and the answer is no; my fate is now in the hands of others and I can't get excited until I get the official notification that they have granted my visa. Until then there will be much fretting! I still have medical checks and police checks to undertake and I may still be called for an interview. And there's always the possibility that I've missed something or done something wrong on the form an it all gets sent back. So keep your fingers, toes and any other appendages you may posses crossed for me please!

Do people who design official questionnaires really think about the questions they ask? I'm going through the Spousal Visa application form and there's a question on there which says something to the effect of "Did you marry just to gain entry to Australia?". Now think about it. If I answer the question YES, what do you think my chances of actually getting in will be? Now in my case the answer is an unequivocal NO, and as I've been married to Mrs Paulky 16 years on Friday, I think I can prove it. Unless of course this is all part of some secret master-plane I have been hatching for a decade and a half. It's right up there with the questions they used to (still do?) ask when you arrived in the US, the classic one being "Are you a terrorist?". I know an intelligent terrorist is an oxymoron, but I think even they could grasp the answer to that one.

I have no idea why I'm doing this. I have always been a bit ambivalent regarding blogs; unless I was President of the USA, a serial killer or Britney Spears, I just don't think my life is that interesting. And yet... I am beginning the process of leaving the UK after my first four decades to go an live in Australia. It occurred to me that this might actually be something worth writing about. I have no doubt that there will be other random, useless thoughts along the way, but for now, this is it. On Friday I submit my application. Wish me luck!